Chance to be Part of Hollywood!|
by Baxter Taylor
THE INCORRECT MAN is a comedy about
John Wood, an average family man from middle America who is drawn into a legal
nightmare when he unwittingly violates the townís new Reclamation and Recycling
Zero-Tolerance Act. With the town wanting to send a strong message, John is made
an example and receives a hefty citation.
he decides to fight back, and his world is quickly turned upside down as he reacts
with a series of innocent, but politically incorrect missteps. It isnít long before
he is the most hated man in America and the target of multiple law suits (including
one from his own dog).
Watching these events with bemusement is a scruffy
street character known as Lucien Sacrevache, aka The Sac, who is legendary in
local legal circles for manipulating the system with feats of legal jujitsu. His
reputation began when the refrigerator crate he was living in burned to the ground
and he sued an insurance company on the grounds that he was a victim of preemptive
discrimination based on his socio-economic status. He won the case.
Johnís notoriety hits a fever pitch and he is faced with financial and personal
ruin, he solicits legal assistance from The Sac. Hilarity ensues as John and The
Sac team up to restore his good name.
THE INCORRECT MAN has ripped from
the headlines appeal, taking a unique satirical view of a world increasingly invested
in political correctness at all costs. Itís inspired by a series of tongue-in-cheek
articles on political correctness by humorist Judith Weizner, and is masterfully
written by award-winning screenwriter Baxter Taylor.
street-wise and cunning character, The Sac, is drawn from the following article:
to Get Honorary Law Degree
Dr. Maximilian Shellout, the dean of Dartvard
Law School, announced yesterday that Dartvard would grant an honorary Doctor of
Laws degree to Lucien Sacrevache, a 43 year old homeless undocumented alien, who
has exhibited a remarkably broad knowledge of law.
Dr. Shellout said
that since arriving in the United States in 1983 Mr. Sacrevache, appearing pro
se in at least ten cases, some of which he has argued before the Supreme Court,
has compiled a winning record that would be the envy of any law firm.
In his latest stunning victory, Sacrevache vs. Pan Global International Insurance
Company, Inc., Mr. Sacrevache won an appeal that will effectively extend to the
homeless the same right to buy homeowner's insurance that homeowners and renters
have long enjoyed.
Last March the Court of Appeals held that Pan Global
must pay the claim of Mr. Sacrevache, whose lean to was destroyed when fire swept
the rubbish strewn area under the West Side Highway where he and twelve other
homeless persons lived. Following the fire a year and a half ago Mr. Sacrevache
submitted a claim to Pan Global for twenty thousand dollars which the company
refused on the grounds that Mr. Sacrevache had not only never purchased one of
its policies, but had never even applied for coverage either on his abode or on
Citing the precedent set in Sacrevache vs. Burger Queen,
Mr. Sacrevache stated that although he had not actually purchased insurance, he
had intended to do so, therefore entitling himself to coverage. (In Sacrevache
vs. Burger Queen, the restaurant was compelled to retain Mr. Sacrevache, then
a beggar, as its doorman because Sacrevache had sought conventional employment
by the Burger Queen on many occasions, thereby demonstrating a willingness to
work. The court ruled that Sacrevache's impressive lack of hygiene could not be
held against him in the presence of such an obvious and ardent desire for employment.)
Mr. Sacrevache remarked at the time that while wishes were not exactly horses,
they could certainly be vehicles for advancement.
Unfortunately, at his
trial in State Supreme Court, Mr. Sacrevache was unable to produce any concrete
proof of his desire to be insured and case was dismissed for lack of evidence.
However, subsequent questioning of fire department officials elicited
possible recollections of a pile of soggy insurance company brochures seen amid
the rubble of melted VCR's and twisted TV's and computers. The case was brought
once again on grounds of newly discovered evidence.
Pan Global insisted
that if indeed there were brochures, said brochures must be produced in court
so that their authenticity could be determined. Mr. Sacrevache was unable to produce
them but instead introduced testimony from the captain on duty at the fire who
swore that one of his men had told him he had seen "a lot of papers in the corner".
Mr. Sacrevache swore that these papers included brochures from several insurance
companies regarding their homeowner policies. He said he had been comparing coverage
on electronic equipment on the evening of the fire, that he had decided on the
Pan Global policy as most comprehensive, and had been on the point of calling
Pan Global's 800 number when his washing machine overflowed, pouring water onto
the cord connecting his microwave to the traffic light at the corner of Fifty
eighth Street and Twelfth Avenue, starting the fire. But the captain's testimony
as to the existence of the brochures was dismissed as hearsay and the verdict
went to Pan Global.
As soon as he settled into a new non home, Mr. Sacrevache
filed an appeal. Citing Sacrevache vs. City of New York, Mr. Sacrevache held that
the testimony of the fire fighter had been inappropriately rejected as hearsay
because Sacrevache vs. City of New York rendered it improper to doubt the word
of a homeless person in the presence of any corroborating testimony. (Several
years prior to the fire, Mr. Sacrevache had sued the city when the refrigerator
crate in which he was then living was run over by a garbage truck. The sanitation
department argued that Mr. Sacrevache's home had protruded into the street and
that instead of receiving an award he should have been charged with obstructing
traffic. Mr. Sacrevache maintained that his crate had been precisely where it
had always been and that the city had never asked him to move it. A spokesman
for the police department testified that Mr. Sacrevache had been told to move
the crate, but that no citation had been issued. However, another homeless man
swore that he had often seen police smiling and joking with Mr. Sacrevache in
front of his abode, but that he had never heard anyone tell him to move the crate,
nor had Mr. Sacrevache ever spoken of having been given such an order. After a
lengthy court battle, the Supreme Court held that, as with deathbed statements,
testimony given either by the homeless or corroborating that of a homeless person
must receive special weight due to the desperate nature of their circumstances.)
Therefore, the recollection of the fire captain concerning the existence
of the brochures was held to be such corroborative testimony and the decision
was reversed. The Court directed Pan Global to pay the twenty thousand dollar
During the time he was proceeding with his appeal, Mr. Sacrevache
handily won a product liability suit against the Swirlpool Washing Machine Company
and a settlement of undisclosed magnitude from Bronze Star Microwave. (He argued
successfully that the homeless, having no address, can not subscribe to consumer
magazines and are not in a position to know about possible defects in products.
Furthermore, since the homeless nearly always acquire their electronic equipment
unboxed, without instructions and without warranties, the manufacturer must assume
responsibility for damage stemming from use of its products.) A suit against City
Traffic Signal is still pending.
This afternoon, following Dr. Shellout's
announcement, Mr. Sacrevache expressed his thanks to the law school and to the
United States. "I am especially grateful to this country for the many opportunities
it has given me. Long before I came here I heard a saying 'only in America' whose
true meaning escaped me until today. Only in America."
are a few more articles for your enjoyment.
Rules Changed • The
Tibetan Beetle • Mural
Unveiled at Arts Center
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